i met a new love recently; sunbathing. who knew that i would love such a thing. i always seem to be rushing around filling my time with whatever shows up. yet, closing my eyes and feeling the warmth on my skin is more relaxing than most anything i can imagine right now.

i don't even feel hunger anymore. i eat as much as i do because of the taste, the action of eating, filling myself with something, anything. when all i really want is to be small. this is far too difficult.